Hollis vs. the swim instructor

I am a pool snob.
I admit it.
If the water isn't the exact right temp or there is dirt in the pool or the people in the pool look less then clean, well, good luck getting me to stick my big toe in.
When we went to the neighborhood pool on the 4th of July weekend, none of the criteria above were met, so guess what?
We haven't been back. Even though Hollis has begged me and begged me every bloomin' day this summer.
But her Daddy was home on Monday and misery loves company, so the three of us packed it up and headed over to the pool.
And we were greeted with warm pristine waters and no fellow swimmers.
PERFECT.

Hollis was a pretty happy camper in the pictures here.
That was before I asked the lifeguard for pointers on how to teach her to swim.
And before I knew it, she was out of her lifeguard chair,into the pool  and telling Hollis to take off her Nemo swimmies.
Hollis was not really fond of this idea. The entire time the lifeguard was helping her she kept saying,
"I WANT MY SWIMMIES."
The instructor would say,"Make a pizza pie with your arms. Make big splashes with your legs. You don't need your swimmies."
And Hollis would say,"I WANT MY SWIMMIES."
The lifeguard told me that I should've never put swimmies on her in the first place.
She said it makes kids co-dependent on them.
She also said I should've been dunking her in the water since she was an infant.
Just throwing her in there and forcing her to swim.
Kids have no fear of the water until they are told to have fear.
Makes sense, but that is a little too hard core for me.
Maybe that's why she said she could tell Hollis was an only child. :)

 This is my only child after being done with the whole swim drama.
No smiles. No giggles.
No love for the swim instructor.
We'll get 'em next time kid.
We might even get crazy and get rid of your swim noodle.