Gifts

There are tender moments in Hollis' childhood that are so sweet they can almost leave me breathless.
I was lucky to have one late last night when I returned home from Eat,Pray, Love with a girlfriend.
The house was so quiet and still as  I happened upon this gift on our kitchen table.

Jason told me she rode her hot wheel around the neighborhood so she could pick out the most special flowers to greet me upon my return.
I had to recall this sweet moment when she accidentally set off her fake cell phone during silent prayer at church this morning.
Motherhood. There is nothing like it, is there? :)

Changes

What you can't walk away from determines what you're walking towards.

I have always prided myself in being a pretty flexible person.
A roll with the changes type of person. And I try to instill that in my child.
But this week has knocked me for a loop. I 'm not sure if I am liking the changes in my life right now, but yet, I know I have to walk away from some familiarity  of my old life.
Just what am I  walking towards?
I feel as though I am neither here nor  there.
Here are some of my reflections of Hollis' first week of grade school:
*Jason and I were a train wreck after we had to drop her off on Monday. There was a cloud that followed us for the 2 1/2 hours she was gone and only lightened when we turned back into Stonegate to pick her up at 11:30. I am hoping we won't be like this every week. I want to savor those 2 hours alone with my husband-a quiet breakfast and coffee, a bookstore trip, little projects around the house, dreaming together about this new sweet baby to come, maybe even watch a movie at home.I want to really look forward to our morning together without Hollis' bleak absence hanging over our heads the whole time.
*Having to be somewhere every morning is difficult to adjust to. Or maybe it is just the protocol I'm adjusting to. Since we have chosen to  drive her to school, we are solely  responsible for her getting there on time. I haven't had to deal with that pressure in 10 years! Needless to say, I am one of the first ones there in the morning and one of the first in line to pick her up in the afternoon. I leave plenty of room for error which in turn leaves plenty of time for sitting in the car and waiting. The great big Hurry Up and Wait.
*I feel like I'm a a freshman  all over again, learning the ropes.  Many times I feel downright dumb. All of my good friends have kids in other schools in  Zionsville so I have no mentors for the rules and regulations of ours. It seems like everyone knows a lot more than I do! I'm probably on of the few parents that have read the handbook from cover to cover(read: DORK). I know I will make plenty of mistakes, but I would like to prevent them if I can! Maybe it is the fear of Hollis having to take the hit for a mistake I have made that motivates me...
*I am getting to know some of the moms from pick-up. I have met some really sweet ones who have offered to help with Hollis when the baby comes. I look forward to cultivating some new friendships this year!
*My friends told me that having a 2 hour pickup span everyday can be a pain in the patootie. And it is. By the time I get home, workout and shower, I have time for one itty bitty house chore and then it is time for pickup. I feel like our days begin at 12:00 and she is too tired and it is too hot to do much of anything besides eat lunch and rest. I am hoping the heat breaks soon so we can resume our days of picnics, museums and playdates.
OK enough about my neurosis...
Let's lighten the subject and discuss Miss Hollis and her first week...
*Everyday Hollis comes out of school with the biggest brightest smile on her face.
"School is a blast."
"That was the most wonderfulest day ever."
"I cannot wait to go back tomm!!"
"I can't believe that I get to go to school EVERYDAY!"
*She now has two "best friends"-which  rotate days on which one plays more with her
*She got to be a cat in The Little Red Hen play. Her big line was,"Not I."  :)
*Some boy sitting in the desk beside her twisted her arm one day. Since she didn't tell me till 5:00 that night, I figured it wasn't a huge deal.
*I noticed that her backpack was especially heavy one day and peeked in there to find she had taken her Bible to school. Jason said,"Take that out of there, she can't bring that thing to school, she'll get in trouble."
I told him the teacher can call me if she has a problem with it.
*Speaking of backpacks, she loves hers. It goes with us to  the grocery store and library and any other estaiblishment without fail.
*Hollis is not so fond of the no tv in the mornings rule  I have implemented. For 5 years now, she has been greeted by Mickey Mouse clubhouse upon wakening. Now it is eat breakfast, brush teeth, comb hair and get in car. The fun is done.
*She has been a sassy ball of energy this week. There have been limits tested and random energy bursts from nowhere. I am hoping this too will even out in the weeks to come,because frankly, it's driving me crazy right now.
*Her favorite activity at school is recess.This comes as no shocker since she hails from such stellar academic genes. :)
*On the second day of school, I dropped Hollis off in the front circle, thinking there were teachers to help guide the children in. I couldn't be more wrong.  When we pulled up I told her to get out of the car and she whimpered,"Mama, I'm scared."  She jumped out and I pulled off, only to see her running after my car and crying. The crossing guard had to restrain her.  I couldn't park the car quick enough and get back to her.
Needless to say, I now park the car and walk her into school. Everyday Hollis says,"Mama, you're not going to drop me off again, are you?"
Mother of the Year, here I come.
*When Hollis and I were getting in the car from pickup on Friday, I hear this little voice yell," I love you Hollis. See you on Monday."
It was a little girl from Hollis' class. How sweet is that?
I'm glad that was such a postive note to end the week....and next week I'm hoping for lots more...

The First Day

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL

She started school this morning,
And she seemed so very small,
As I waited there beside her,
In the kindergarten hall.

And as she took her place beside \
The others in the class,
I realized how all too soon
Those first few years can pass

Remembering, I saw her as
She first learned how to walk,
The words that we alone made out
When she began to talk

This little one so much absorbed
In learning how to write!
It seems as if she had left
Her childhood overnight.

My eyes were blurred but hastily
I brushed my tears away,
Lest by some word or sign of mine
I mar this first big day.

Oh, how I longed to stay there
And keep her in the hand,
To lead her through the places
That I couldn't understand.

And something closely kin to fear
Was mingled with my pride.
I knew she would no longer be
A baby by my side.

But she must have a chance to live
To work the problems out.
The privilege to grow and learn
What life is all about.

And I must share my little one
With friends and work and play.
She's not my baby anymore...
She started school today.

And now, my sweet soul, go light the world...

Kindergarten Open House

Thursday night was the Open House at Hollis' school.
Before this night, Hollis has told everybody within earshot that she is NOT going to school.
It's just NOT gonna happen.
She is gonna stay at home with her Mama.
On the first day of school, she will be hiding in her closet if you need to find her.
Although I secretly found this very enduring, this Mama was beginning to get a tad bit worried .

But after Hollis met her teacher, all of that changed.
She got in the car afterwards and said,,"Mama, I'm not "nerw-vis" to start school anymore, I want to go now."
She told me all through the weekend that she "willy" misses her teacher cause she is "willy" nice.
It just put the biggest smile on my face.
I think Miss Hollis and kindergarten might be a fine match after all.
But if you need to get a hold of this heartbroken Mama tomm,
you  know where to find me...
I'll be hiding in the closet.

Crooked Cabin

Jason's folks were so sweet and let us use their little cabin by the lake in Petoskey Michigan .
Although Jason and I have been there many times in the past 11 years, this was Miss Hollis' first visit.
I think she is in L-O-V-E.
We didn't do much besides read, nap swim and boat for a couple hours a day.
But it was just the vacation our little family needed right now.

Jason's brother Chris was able to join us for the boatride too!
Do you like Hollis' blue mouth?
She had Superman icecream that stained her teeth blue for the rest of the day.

 Wrigley was actually being good here at not barking, so I took a picture of him.

I love this picture of Jason.
He just looks so relaxed and happy.
Crooked Lake brings out the best in him. I think it must be his happy place.

It's shameless that we made it into town only one time. And that was to eat.
Petoskey has some of the best shopping there is.
But hey, when you're on a budget, you're on a budget, right?

 This is the first time I have ever driven a boat.
I asked Jason if I looked like one of those hot young numbers on the rap videos.
You know the ones-in their string bikinis and high heels driving the speedboats-
He started laughing hysterically.
Hmmm..wonder why? ;)

All good fireworks shows have a finale.
And this was ours.
Our farewell to summer finale.
Thank you, summer 2010.
We'll miss you so very much.

The Shock and Awe

I'm beaten down.
She has finally won.
Can you tell  I have no control over what she wears anymore?
I call an outfit of this genre the "Shock and Awe".
She wore it to her new school today-the secretary,bless her heart, said,"I just love your boots."
Hollis just beamed.
I used to battle her EVERY SINGLE DAY about her outfits.
Tears and  threats and control battles were a part of our morning routine.
Not anymore.
And that is more than fine with me.
Because I know in my heart there will bigger battles to fight then this one.
This is not the "mountain" on which I wish to die.
Besides, it's quite entertaining watching people react to her outfits.
I'm  getting used to  all those sympathetic grins.

Hollis vs. the swim instructor

I am a pool snob.
I admit it.
If the water isn't the exact right temp or there is dirt in the pool or the people in the pool look less then clean, well, good luck getting me to stick my big toe in.
When we went to the neighborhood pool on the 4th of July weekend, none of the criteria above were met, so guess what?
We haven't been back. Even though Hollis has begged me and begged me every bloomin' day this summer.
But her Daddy was home on Monday and misery loves company, so the three of us packed it up and headed over to the pool.
And we were greeted with warm pristine waters and no fellow swimmers.
PERFECT.

Hollis was a pretty happy camper in the pictures here.
That was before I asked the lifeguard for pointers on how to teach her to swim.
And before I knew it, she was out of her lifeguard chair,into the pool  and telling Hollis to take off her Nemo swimmies.
Hollis was not really fond of this idea. The entire time the lifeguard was helping her she kept saying,
"I WANT MY SWIMMIES."
The instructor would say,"Make a pizza pie with your arms. Make big splashes with your legs. You don't need your swimmies."
And Hollis would say,"I WANT MY SWIMMIES."
The lifeguard told me that I should've never put swimmies on her in the first place.
She said it makes kids co-dependent on them.
She also said I should've been dunking her in the water since she was an infant.
Just throwing her in there and forcing her to swim.
Kids have no fear of the water until they are told to have fear.
Makes sense, but that is a little too hard core for me.
Maybe that's why she said she could tell Hollis was an only child. :)

 This is my only child after being done with the whole swim drama.
No smiles. No giggles.
No love for the swim instructor.
We'll get 'em next time kid.
We might even get crazy and get rid of your swim noodle.