Changes

What you can't walk away from determines what you're walking towards.

I have always prided myself in being a pretty flexible person.
A roll with the changes type of person. And I try to instill that in my child.
But this week has knocked me for a loop. I 'm not sure if I am liking the changes in my life right now, but yet, I know I have to walk away from some familiarity  of my old life.
Just what am I  walking towards?
I feel as though I am neither here nor  there.
Here are some of my reflections of Hollis' first week of grade school:
*Jason and I were a train wreck after we had to drop her off on Monday. There was a cloud that followed us for the 2 1/2 hours she was gone and only lightened when we turned back into Stonegate to pick her up at 11:30. I am hoping we won't be like this every week. I want to savor those 2 hours alone with my husband-a quiet breakfast and coffee, a bookstore trip, little projects around the house, dreaming together about this new sweet baby to come, maybe even watch a movie at home.I want to really look forward to our morning together without Hollis' bleak absence hanging over our heads the whole time.
*Having to be somewhere every morning is difficult to adjust to. Or maybe it is just the protocol I'm adjusting to. Since we have chosen to  drive her to school, we are solely  responsible for her getting there on time. I haven't had to deal with that pressure in 10 years! Needless to say, I am one of the first ones there in the morning and one of the first in line to pick her up in the afternoon. I leave plenty of room for error which in turn leaves plenty of time for sitting in the car and waiting. The great big Hurry Up and Wait.
*I feel like I'm a a freshman  all over again, learning the ropes.  Many times I feel downright dumb. All of my good friends have kids in other schools in  Zionsville so I have no mentors for the rules and regulations of ours. It seems like everyone knows a lot more than I do! I'm probably on of the few parents that have read the handbook from cover to cover(read: DORK). I know I will make plenty of mistakes, but I would like to prevent them if I can! Maybe it is the fear of Hollis having to take the hit for a mistake I have made that motivates me...
*I am getting to know some of the moms from pick-up. I have met some really sweet ones who have offered to help with Hollis when the baby comes. I look forward to cultivating some new friendships this year!
*My friends told me that having a 2 hour pickup span everyday can be a pain in the patootie. And it is. By the time I get home, workout and shower, I have time for one itty bitty house chore and then it is time for pickup. I feel like our days begin at 12:00 and she is too tired and it is too hot to do much of anything besides eat lunch and rest. I am hoping the heat breaks soon so we can resume our days of picnics, museums and playdates.
OK enough about my neurosis...
Let's lighten the subject and discuss Miss Hollis and her first week...
*Everyday Hollis comes out of school with the biggest brightest smile on her face.
"School is a blast."
"That was the most wonderfulest day ever."
"I cannot wait to go back tomm!!"
"I can't believe that I get to go to school EVERYDAY!"
*She now has two "best friends"-which  rotate days on which one plays more with her
*She got to be a cat in The Little Red Hen play. Her big line was,"Not I."  :)
*Some boy sitting in the desk beside her twisted her arm one day. Since she didn't tell me till 5:00 that night, I figured it wasn't a huge deal.
*I noticed that her backpack was especially heavy one day and peeked in there to find she had taken her Bible to school. Jason said,"Take that out of there, she can't bring that thing to school, she'll get in trouble."
I told him the teacher can call me if she has a problem with it.
*Speaking of backpacks, she loves hers. It goes with us to  the grocery store and library and any other estaiblishment without fail.
*Hollis is not so fond of the no tv in the mornings rule  I have implemented. For 5 years now, she has been greeted by Mickey Mouse clubhouse upon wakening. Now it is eat breakfast, brush teeth, comb hair and get in car. The fun is done.
*She has been a sassy ball of energy this week. There have been limits tested and random energy bursts from nowhere. I am hoping this too will even out in the weeks to come,because frankly, it's driving me crazy right now.
*Her favorite activity at school is recess.This comes as no shocker since she hails from such stellar academic genes. :)
*On the second day of school, I dropped Hollis off in the front circle, thinking there were teachers to help guide the children in. I couldn't be more wrong.  When we pulled up I told her to get out of the car and she whimpered,"Mama, I'm scared."  She jumped out and I pulled off, only to see her running after my car and crying. The crossing guard had to restrain her.  I couldn't park the car quick enough and get back to her.
Needless to say, I now park the car and walk her into school. Everyday Hollis says,"Mama, you're not going to drop me off again, are you?"
Mother of the Year, here I come.
*When Hollis and I were getting in the car from pickup on Friday, I hear this little voice yell," I love you Hollis. See you on Monday."
It was a little girl from Hollis' class. How sweet is that?
I'm glad that was such a postive note to end the week....and next week I'm hoping for lots more...